I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I would fuck him just for his dog
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
