i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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