if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
