Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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