im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
