So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
whose parrot is this?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
