They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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