And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
