Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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