Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
