she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
