So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
