You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
