u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Buhtt sex?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
