Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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