And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
