Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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