If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
