I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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