So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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