well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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