Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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