Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
