How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
