time to smoke my breakfast
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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