Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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