she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
