I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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