Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
