He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
