lets start a swedish sibling band together
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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