I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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