i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
