News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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