I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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