and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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