Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
