I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
