I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
