We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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