we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
