I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
