i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
