She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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