question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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