It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
