He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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