It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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