2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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