Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
