Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
