I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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