that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
