don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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