He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
